I went for a run yesterday. I love to run. Currently, it's something I can do and be successful at independent of anything, or anyone else. After finishing my run, my first thought was, "No one can take that away from me. I ran 6 miles, it cannot, nor will not be undone." I found so much comfort and stability in that fact. I own those miles. Over the course of the past couple years, I have recognized lots of things that I "own". To name a few, there is my mission, my degree, and the two half-marathons I ran. Other items I own, are acts of service, kind words, and smiles.
Owning all of the positive things accomplished, and cementing the fact that they cannot be undone, creates a healthy foundation to build from. It gives an opportunity to see the value we already have. Those cool things accomplished; said; completed, do not, and cannot give value, they simply speak to us, and others of the goodness and worth that is innately already deep within us. Performing an act of service, speaking a kind phrase, and sharing smiles is like giving fertilizer to the goodness seed deep within. It grows a little, we feel it, recognize it, cement it in our being as fact, "I am good, I have value." and do it again. Goodness will sprout like wild-flowers, and feelings of gratitude will enter your soul, when you feel that gratitude, express it. If you believe in God express it to Him, or just throw your hands up and say, "thank you!"
As I take ownership of the good, I also must take ownership of the less good; acts that have not been so serviceable; and words that have not been so kind. Owning all of the "not so serviceable" acts, and the "not so kind" words, is a growing, and also liberating experience. Acceptance is a key to change. It is hard, if not impossible, to change something I am unwilling to accept as my own, as far as personal change goes. If it's not mine, and there's a problem with it, it's not my problem, right? It's OK that I am not perfect. I am going to do things wrong, make mistakes; do or say things that may hurt others or myself. It's a given. I accept that I am not perfect. I also recognize that I must take responsibility/be accountable for the "not so serviceable" acts, and the "not so kind" words, whether they are intentional, or not. I did them, I said them, they are mine, independent of the situation. The end. Accepting imperfection, I take responsibility, liberate myself from being a victim, learn from the experience, make amends, and commit to be better, not perfect, but better. Something else I must own, is that if I did hurt someone in some way, it's not up to me whether they accept my efforts to amend the situation,and ultimately forgive me. I own that I must do my part, and I also own that the other party must do theirs. The outcome may be favorable, or it may be otherwise. Either way, I can now "own" that I have done, or am doing my part. It's OK to give the other person time, be patient and give it to them.
Own the good, the bad, and the ugly, we all have them.
Yesterday is not editable; but we can begin today to write a better tomorrow.