The opposite of Fear is not Fear

I have seen multiple posts stating "both sides are coming from fear" or "both sides are using fear" to push agendas, or to guide perspectives. (Could be political, could be media, could be anything)

Each time I saw this idea I thought to myself "If both sides are employing fear...isn't that the same side?"

Each side's agenda may oppose the other, but if each is employing fear, whether intentionally or unintentionally, both are occupying the same side. The opposite of fear is not fear.

Who knows WHAT to believe? It is a hard question to answer given said agendas, fake news, misinformation, contradicting information, and the use of fear to steer our perspectives.

Fear comes from the mind’s inability to know, to understand, and to predict, when our sense of security depends on knowing, understanding, and predicting. It comes from the mind’s uncertainty when certainty has become our security.

It can really be tough when the options we see are fear on one side and fear on the other side. The opposite of fear is not fear.

There was a time when "pick the less of two evils" seemed like the only option. I get it, I really do. I do not see that way anymore.

If there are only two "sides" with fear occupying one of them, then love must be on the other side. The opposite of fear is love.

If we do not see love as the "opposing" side of fear, then we have temporarily lost part of our personal power. We may have been guided into believing that the only options are fear on one side and fear on the other. We may have also been guided into believing that the only options are those that are outside of us.

If either of those are the case, we have been mis-guided. No judgment: it is what it is...until it is not. Again, I have been there. We can begin to take back our personal power and choose love instead of fear.

The opposite of fear is love. We experience love and all that emanates from it on the outside to the degree we experience love on the inside. Increased love on the inside increases love on the outside.

From where does love emerge? Love does just that, it emerges. It emerges from within. It emerges from the deepest parts of who we are, and with it comes trust, a true sense of self-security, independent of what is happening outside.

Peace comes with it, as does kindness, compassion, gentleness, forgiveness, mercy, understanding, and increased love. Love felt and shared is not divided, it is multiplied.

Choose the side of love, even if you…wait, especially if you have to create that side yourself. That IS our personal power. It is time for me, and you, and us and we, to create the “side” of love. Truth in the heart can inform the perceptions of the mind. Our mind-conditioning is such that we tend to value more what we experience OUTSIDE of ourselves than what we could experience INSIDE. Again, truth in the heart can inform the perceptions of the mind.

Recognize that truth exists in the heart. Connecting to it via prayer, nature, meditation, breath-work, silence, yoga, and lots of other ways, will allow the heart to inform the mind of truth; the truth within, and the truth without.

As we do this individually, and therefore collectively on any collective level, the “side” of love will grow, as the “side” of fear will weaken. Love’s intentions and influences expand and impact more than those who are choosing the personal power “side” of love. When we experience someone else in that space, we see it as an invitation to go there too.

Be that which your heart desires to see in the world. Be not that which your mind fears in the world.

Much Love,

Luke

Easter / Resurrection Thoughts...Could the resurrection signify more to us individually.

                                                                                                         Written on 4-21-19 Easter Sunday

Today, on Easter Sunday, we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ, we celebrate a renewal of what once seemed lost. The loss of a Healer; a Teacher; a Comforter; a Guide; an Example; a Friend; and most importantly, a Savior. The literal view of Jesus’ resurrection brings His physical form back to life, and with it, the promise that all will likewise be resurrected. I believe there is more, much more than “only” a literal view of the resurrection; a view that has application over and over again in our lives.

I don't consider myself an artist,
but I will claim my efforts, and
the experience of writing and
drawing this piece. 

Resurrection, as stated in one definition as a “restoration to life”, is preceded by a “dying”, if you will; a “falling away”, or a “letting go” of something. However, until the resurrection, the death of Jesus seemed permanent; it was not just a “falling away”, or a “letting go” of something; it seemed as an ending. An ending, even after Jesus told His disciples “[I] must go unto Jerusalem, and suffer many things of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised again the third day.” (Matthew 16:21) We see in verse 22 that, at least Peter did not understand Jesus’ words. “Then Peter took him, and began to rebuke him, saying, Be it far from thee, Lord: this shall not be unto thee.” Jesus responds to Peter “Get thee behind me, Satan: thou art an offence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men.” I do not consider myself a scripture scholar, but what I see here is Jesus perhaps speaking to the same part in Peter that He was speaking to in His disciples after having fed the multitude of four thousand with seven loaves of bread, and having but one loaf of bread with them in the ship. Jesus says to His disciples “Why reason ye, because ye have no bread? Perceive ye not yet, neither understand? Have ye your heart yet hardened? Having eyes, see ye not? And having ears, hear ye not? And do ye not remember? When I brake the five loaves among the five thousand, how many baskets full of fragments took ye up? And they said seven.” (Mark 8:17-20) Could it be that Jesus was not speaking to Peter, but to Peter’s “of men” understanding? Both Peter, and the disciples…and us, have something in common? Could it be that we see only with our physical eyes…our “of men” eyes, having eyes, yet see not, and ears, yet hear not…and have we forgotten? Or have we honestly and innocently while here in mortality never truly understood? Could it be that we “savourest not the things that be of God, but those that be of men”, like Peter? Could it be that we have forgotten the “things of God” that be within us…each of us…all of us…as one body.

Most understand the concept of Jesus’ physical resurrection. His physical body was brought back to life. Could it be that the physical resurrection is a surface view of resurrection? Jesus’ body was brought back to life…not just again, but anew, never to again experience death. Something indeed “fell away”, or was “let go” in order for Him to return as an eternal physical being. Could it be that there were aspects of His being that no longer served His purpose, or that no longer represented His deepest, truest self? Something that held Him back from His next step in progression. What if, in those three days-time between crucifixion and resurrection that not only were there aspects of His earthly being that “fell away”, but that other aspects of His eternal physical being were brought into His presence. Perhaps eternal truth, perhaps eternal light, perhaps eternal love.

Could Jesus’ resurrection signify more for each one of us in our own personal lives, much more than His physical form being brought back to life, and our own physical resurrection someday? Not to diminish His resurrection in any degree, but to add to the meaning and application of how Jesus’ resurrection can have a present affect in our own lives now, today, and every day.

Could I, and each of us if we choose, look to identify aspects of our own selves that no longer serve the higher purpose of our being? Could there be aspects of who we think we are, or are not, that hold us back? That hide who we truly are on the deepest, truest level, that if “let go” or if we allow to “fall away”, would bring out more of the eternal beauty that lies just underneath? We need not go looking for it outside of ourselves in other people, or in things with our physical eyes, ears, and logic…for it is found within; it is found with the eyes of the heart; the ears of the heart; knowing that Self, that YOU, and YOU, and YOU, and each person…EVERY person, is made of divinity. When we begin to “let go” of that which is not divine within ourselves…the “of men” aspects, we begin to see the divinity that has been there all along; glorious, light, love, and truth. We begin to see past others non-divinity and “of men”ness to the divinity within them as well. Compassion comes, light comes, love for neighbors come. Patience comes. Gentleness comes. Not only do these come as outward expressions towards others, but inward expressions toward self. There is a lot of talk of self-esteem and self-confidence. Imagine having more self-compassion, more self-patience, more self-kindness, more self-forgiving, and more self-love. This “Self” aspect does not truly originate from within our selves, but from God, the Divine, the grand Self, The I AM; the Giver of Self to each of us. This Self has no beginning and no end, therefore there is no end to compassion, kindness, patience, forgiveness, and love that can be experienced both inward to self, and outward toward others.

Could we, during this day of resurrection and renew, look for the “of men”ness in ourselves, that once recognized, can fall away. Or could we find an “of men” aspect in ourselves that we can just let go of? As we do, we renew…we uncover a bit more of the divinity within…we allow a resurrection of the divinity to take place within us that has been in darkness for days, likely more than three.

I think it is appropriate that resurrection, and renewal are associated with Spring-time. A falling away of the old, a time of rest; then with Spring, all things are again made new, including you. This not only happens with the change in seasons, but daily. We arise each day renewed…another day, another start, a fresh start. Could a deepest and truest self-resurrection of sorts occur at any moment? To this I say…It could.

The "Boxes" We Sometimes Live In

Boxes are good....Right?!

Boxes ARE good...for some things. But they are just as NOT good for other things.

We have all used boxes for:

• Moving Things
• Organizing Things
• Separating Things
• Storing Things
• Protecting Things
• Sending Things
• Unintended but CREATIVE...Things
• Fort Creating
• "House" Building
• Maze Construction
• Cat Toys
• And more... ...Things

Two "things" that boxes are really good at are keeping things IN while keeping other things OUT. 

Who DOESN'T have (at least one) box like this...

I know I do.

Boxes are not just physical...or are they?

You've heard it in relation to thinking...or being, I know you have, you've also said it in some way, shape, or form.

• "He thinks outside of the box".
• "We need a solution that is outside of the box".
• "She is inside her box when it comes to..."

When used in these and other ways, these "boxes" are understood to refer to the way a person sees or understands something, known as a paradigm. The definition of ‘paradigm’ according to google is - a typical example or pattern of something; a model.

We each have "boxes” or paradigms of thinking - believing - feeling - doing.  

The basic flow is this: our thoughts, combined with the meaning we have assigned them from previous experience (believing), dictate how we feel in any situation (read that sentence again). What we feel, then, flows into and informs our actions. Our actions are in direct alignment with what we feel...when we are "in the box". There is no choice "inside the box" because we believe that what we feel and perceive is an accurate representation of what is happening, and we respond accordingly. We experience this repeatedly (mostly mindlessly), specifically in the many situations we encounter each day, and generally in larger areas of our lives, including Health (all areas), Relationships, Finances, Career etc. These cycles accurately reflect the "boxes" we are in, even though we cannot see the boxes. Again, we believe to be true that which we feel and perceive. These "boxes" keep in what we believe to be true, while keeping out what is true.

The truth states that there is no box. Truth is stable, constant, and independent. It stands without judgment or applied meaning. There is pure choice in truth, for we get to see, in the truth, that the "box" is man-made, and full of ambiguity and story. The "box" itself does not exist; it is merely a figment of the imagination...a paradigm, a pattern of thought and belief; there is indeed only truth.

Judgment of, and a spread of man-made meaning applied to truth creates boxes while destroying truth-generated choosing.

Now, you may be wondering about paradigms or "boxes" that produce positive outcomes. There are indeed paradigms or boxes that contain productive thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and actions that lead to success in any area. These "positive" paradigms work until they don't.

We live in a world and a time that is in constant flux. What has worked in one season does not work in another season. We see it over and over again. The retail and on-line shopping industries are an example. Physical retail shops are required to make intuitive shifts in order to stay relevant in the whole of the shopping experience. Positive and productive retail paradigms that worked in the 1980s do not work today. It is the same with marketing and sales; Health, Fitness; Relationships; Education; Parenting, etc. Everything and everyone is evolving. The "season" of usefulness for a positive paradigm is progressively shrinking. 

Paradigms and "boxes" altogether will continue to fall away in favor of seeing "what is" and evolving vs "judging what is" and reacting. Seeing "what is" translates to seeing outcomes for what they are without judgment or story, then responsibly questioning "why" such outcome presented. "What about my process (paradigm) produced this outcome? What do I need to think differently, and believe, and feel, and act from in order to see a more favorable outcome? Or to be relevant in this, or a coming season?"

A shift from viewing outcome as an indicator of "what works", to an indicator of "what is" must take place; and will continue to take place as the world continues to evolve. An allowance of faith, trust and intuition in the presence of "what is", without judgment of it, but obedience to the nudges that come in that presence, will be the new way. It is not a paradigm or a box...it is where truth lives. This is the case in all aspects, business and personal.

Receiving and Giving Love

I think most of us have at least heard of the 5 Love Languages. They are ways in which we communicate love and receive love from the people in our lives. The 5 love languages as described by Gary Chapman in his book series, The Five Love Languages, are Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. We each have a dominant or primary love language that we “speak”. When there is someone we desire to express love to, whether a family member, a close friend, or another person, we tend to do so using one of these five languages…the one that feels most comfortable to us. As recipients of love, we tend to feel loved the most when someone speaks to us in our own primary love language. The Five Love Language series does a great job at teaching about each language, and how to communicate love effectively by learning to speak the primary love language of the person we wish to express love to. I support the idea of learning to speak each of the five love languages for a couple reasons. First, to indeed learn to communicate love in meaningful ways. The second reason, and the purpose of this blog post, is to become familiar with the five love languages as a means to recognize more abundantly when love is being communicated to us. An expression of love has two parts, the giving part, and the receiving part. Just as when two people who originate from countries of differing languages attempt to communicate, there can be misunderstandings or miss-connections when people of differing primary love languages attempt to communicate love. Love is a connector; the authentic giving and receiving of love, connects us. Connection returns us to humanity; it returns us to who we truly are, individually and collectively. Learning to recognize when love is being communicated to us increases the amount of love we feel, and connects us with the giver even when the language used is not our primary language. The intent of the giver is to communicate love, and I don’t think we want to miss that. Communicating love authentically in one’s primary love language can be vulnerable and scary. In doing so, the giver offers us more than love; a deeper view into him or herself, into the fibers that constitute his or her being. What a beautiful gift for someone to share with you and me, a view into themselves. What a great loss if we do not recognize it; if we miss both the love being extended, and the opportunity to see the giver as part of his or her authentic self.

In recognizing an expression of love, we must remember that there are different kinds or levels of love. An expression of love or kindness can be as simple as offering a smile or holding the door for someone, which may not require the level of vulnerability as more intimate expressions of love. Nonetheless, they are both expressions of love…connection. They says, “I see you.” “I see your need and I can help.” Being seen is enough to feel loved sometimes.

It is unfortunate that we, on a large scale, wait for something to give us a reason to connect. A few recent examples; 9/11, earthquakes, fires, hurricanes Harvey and Irma, and other natural “disasters”. I put disasters in quotation marks because on one hand, they physically do make a mess. On the other hand, these natural events put us in a place to choose great triumph, and choose triumph we do, every single time. We choose to bring ourselves together…we choose to connect to ourselves and to our shared humanity. We return to a place of love, caring, compassion; we empathize. What beautiful gifts. What if we chose to see our shared humanity every day? What if we chose to connect with the humanity of the person checking our groceries at the market, or the people we pass in the isle, even that smile will do, or a hand on the shoulder in appreciation, or a genuine “thank you” with eye contact.

I invite each of us to become more familiar with the five love languages, especially the ones that are not our primary language. Let’s begin to look for even the smallest expressions of love in our daily lives, then identifying which language is being spoken. As we do so, I believe we will feel more loved, and be more inclined to see opportunities to share love in even these small ways in the ins and outs of our days. 

Happy Loving!

Who Am I?

I have been wondering over the past few months who I really am. Sometimes (a lot of the time) I feel like the only place I feel "home" is when I am spending time WITH myself; sometimes it feels like I am BY myself. I feel at home when I am WITH myself, because I can exist as I am, I don't have to be a certain way; I am connected with self.

Somewhere along the path I learned that I wasn't good enough as I was; I disconnected from self. I learned that I had to be something or someone different in order to be "good" and accepted, or connected with someone else (I KNOW that is a false statement; my feelings, judgment, experience, or maybe just my perception, tell me otherwise); I hide, believing that I am less than, inadequate. At times I act confident when what I really feel is insecure and afraid. I don't want people to see how insecure and afraid I am. It takes so much energy to act the opposite of how I feel, but how do I exist in this world insecure and afraid? There's more I could say, but I'll move on for now.

There are moments when I am WITH myself; when "I am" present, happy, free, and self-connected. Very few see those moments, or come to know the true, happy, free, self-connected me. If I could exist in a world of my own creating, I would flourish, and all experience would be enhanced, because it comes from the light that is me, a light that is uniquely me, a light that is bright.

I share with you this "moment WITH myself" of presence, happiness, freedom, self-connection, and light, to bring this part of me from the shadow into the light. I like to dance...sometimes. Thank you for reading.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHz1eJBLKww

Constructing a world of Wholeness.

I returned last evening from a weekend retreat (New Warrior Training Adventure) where I felt "at home". I've experienced this once before at another retreat. These retreats are mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically challenging. The "at home" feeling comes, I think, from the amount of safety that is felt as one shares parts of his deepest self with others, knowing that no judgement will be made about them or their life experiences, thoughts, beliefs, or desires. Having returned, I woke up this morning wanting to still be there. I could recall the chill of the morning, and the sound of the drum in the distance. I imagined I was still there. Alas, I was not still there. I started feeling depressed earlier as I could feel the weight of my world returning. One thing I took away from my experience this weekend is that I, again, have the power to change aspects of my life that do not fit. I don't have to continue to do things the same way, or be the same person just because that's what people know, or because that is what I want to be. What I REALLY want to do, and literally be, is authentic, without the fear of others opinions or judgments. I love myself, and God loves me, and my family loves me, and I know I am a good person. That is knowledge; what more can a person ask for? The New Warrior in me refuses to fall back into previous ways of being and doing. Yes, I am an optimistic person most of the time, and I have learned to look at life situations through a higher “lens” than I did in the past. That absolutely helps, but it does not mean that my life is figured out, or that I have the answers. The truth is, my life is hardly figured out at all. I mentioned a few things that I know; something else that I know is that the answers are coming, especially as I take steps in my life that lead me to them.

I know that the world isn’t a “safe” place, like the retreats I have been on, to be authentic and share personal stuff. With the knowledge that I have, the only opinions or judgments that I value are from others who love me; so, to satisfy the Warrior, and step away from the past ways of doing and being, I share with you that my life has been harder than you know. For the purposes of this post, it doesn’t matter how any of these experiences came to be, only that they are currently present in my life. I find it extremely difficult to allow an emotionally intimate relationship to continue to develop once the relationship moves past “friends”. It feels sticky to me; emotional boundaries within the realm of a dating relationship are very hard to define for me. I tend to go into, “take care of” and, “make better” mode with the other person. I am better at “friend” boundaries, but once the relationship starts to enter the “more than friends” realm, it is like there ARE no boundaries. I have been more of a giver than a receiver in my relationships because it is what I know. It doesn’t take much “giving” to me, for me to feel loved. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed when those with whom I have relationships give what I feel is too much, and I start to feel claustrophobic (likely due to introverted tendencies that I have). I then step back to get some air. I only need to know that I am loved, and so, genuinely. Quality time, even just a little bit, is remembered. Gifts, and acts of service are meaningful too, also in moderation; they are remembered and valued as well.

Three years ago my life completely changed when I realized that my attraction to guys was not a phase that would end. The moment of that realization, my life changed; believe it or not, it changed for the better. That realization triggered a river of opportunities that have improved my life, the relationships with my parents, with myself, with God; and I met some brothers who became the closest friends I’ve ever had. My life is so much better now than it was before the realization. I cannot wish this part of me away because of what it has done for me. I cannot be upset at God about it. He knows it’s there. He knew it before I did, and I know He loves me just the same, but I feel His love more now. The experience of knowing what I have learned from this is very important to me; I wouldn’t give up the attractions if it meant I had to also give up what I have learned. Getting married and having a family was always part of the plan I had for myself. Two years ago, I accepted that it may not be part of my life experience, and I became OK with that. There are other honorable things I can accomplish, and ways that I can make the world a better place in ways that are unique and authentic to me. I know that God has a plan for me, and it may include marriage and a family, or it may not. As long as I love myself and continue to work on myself, I’ll reach the best end. I believe that my life is rolling forward towards that best end, and that is where comfort and peace come from.

A world of love, acceptance, kindness, gentleness, forgiveness, and compassion is possible; it takes ears from each person to listen with the intent to understand, instead of to judge, defend, separate, or preach. People who hurt people either intentionally or unintentionally, are hurt people. Said another way, hurt people, hurt other people. Hurt people can be healed. This is also true, people who are healing, heal other people. Healing is possible, it is happening. My life’s mission is to construct a world of wholeness by loving myself and others, and helping others do the same.

If this has touched you in a positive way, and you desire to experience healing, I’d love to hear your story, or part of it. Thank you for reading part of my story.

The Source of Life's Savor.

The point I attempt to make in this post is this: Wellbeing, peace, joy, wholeness, love, and gratitude, are only connected to mortality (money, career, material possessions, education, any type of status other than Child of God, friends, family situations, etc.) as we allow them to be, and until we recognize their true, immortal source, and attach them there. The immortal source of our wellbeing is God, our father, and through the atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ we have the opportunity to overcome mortality. Knowing and trusting the immortal source of our ever-enduring worth while in mortality can be a Heaven on Earth.

The Source of Life’s Savor.

I currently have $47 in my checking account and zero in my savings account. By the end of this week I will have less in my checking account. I have just under $20,000 of debt, and I work as a merchant application underwriter. I am 35 years old, and will be 36 in two months.

As I drove home from work tonight (9-8-15), the gas light came on in my car. I stopped at the gas station to do as I have done over the past few months, to put $20 worth of gas in my car, making sure I didn’t spend it all in one place. As long as my car has gas, I can keep going to work. I bought some groceries yesterday, $33 worth at Wal-Mart. I came home, and with the groceries I made some homemade guacamole, and baked an ear of corn to make Elote. As I was cutting the green onions for the guacamole, I felt somewhat as I imagine the widow of Zarepath felt, but on a lesser degree. If you remember, she gathered sticks to make a meal with the last of her oil and flour, for her and her son to eat, then die. I know that that meal will not be my last (I hope not anyway), but I felt like I was using part of the last that I had, as there is not money for more until next week. We recall that the prophet Elijah asked her to make a cake for him first, then for her son and herself. If she did this, the jar of flour would not fail, neither would the jug of oil run dry until the Lord sends rain again upon the land. Again, as I continued to cut the green onions, I began to feel a gratitude that was not familiar, a gratitude for the fact that this meal was going to be just as delicious as it had always been. Gratitude that even though I had used some of the last of my current resources to purchase the ingredients, and that my financial situation is what it is right now, the goodness and the savor of this meal would not be diminished.

Over the course of my life when financial resources have been limited, I would allow that circumstance to affect all areas of my life in a negative way; I would allow it to “change the savor” of my life, and life wasn’t as good. I would worry, worry, worry; I would feel physically ill. These rough financial situations would disturb my spiritual, emotional, mental, and social wellbeing, as well as physically as I have mentioned. I would decrease my social interaction because my mind was completely occupied with the stress of the situation, and I wasn’t myself. I felt like I was less; less than I should be, less than I had previously been, less than others (and I) expected. I felt like a failure, and unworthy to be around people. My entire wellbeing was dependent on having money, and when the money I had went below what I thought was acceptable for myself, my wellbeing went down with it. My wellbeing was attached, and dependent on the amount of money I had. It doesn’t help that I have been so determined to change my financial situation, that I have made several decisions to invest in this opportunity, and that opportunity; which only perpetuated more of the same. That is another story. Over the course of the past 2 ½ years I have changed my source of wellbeing, and it was significantly noticeable tonight. As I continued to prepare dinner, and continued consciously be grateful for it, I recognized also that felt peaceful; I wasn’t stressed, nor was my worth was tied to my financial situation. I was whole; I was loved; my worth had not lessened; and life still tasted good. I knew that God loved me just the same, and that I loved me just the same. Two years ago when I started taking these steps to improve, I knew that there would be sacrifices and difficult times. What I have learned, and specifically recognized tonight, is that what I am sacrificing are all of the negatives I experienced previously: the fear, the stress, the attachment of my wellbeing on every level to my finances; I am separate from my finances. Money is an object, has no feelings, nor is not alive. It cannot determine, nor control, nor have any say in my wellbeing unless I give it that power. I no longer give it that power; it has been given to God, as has my fear, and the attachment of my wellbeing to my financial situation. In place of what I have “sacrificed”, God has offered peace, love, wholeness; and I trust that the jug of oil will last, and the jar of flour, remain.

I am whole, independent of anything, through the atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ, and my offering up to Him of fear…that is all it was, fear. It is replaced with love, trust, and confidence in Him. He provides the way each and every day despite my imperfections; His ways are higher than mine, and I am so glad for that. It is beautiful and comforting at the same time that I am never left alone. He provides the way patiently as I learn, and as I stumble at times; even through the stumbling there is a way, there is always a way. I don’t have to go alone, for He is always with me, showing the way with a loving, strong arm which is ever reaching out to me. He is the way to lasting peace. He knows me, and I am learning who He is to me as we develop a personal relationship. I love Him, and I am grateful for the peace He offers in place of sacrificed fear. He lives; He must; He has to! In His name, Amen.