Sunday, August 7, 2016

Who Am I?

I have been wondering over the past few months who I really am. Sometimes (a lot of the time) I feel like the only place I feel "home" is when I am spending time WITH myself; sometimes it feels like I am BY myself. I feel at home when I am WITH myself, because I can exist as I am, I don't have to be a certain way; I am connected with self.
Somewhere along the path I learned that I wasn't good enough as I was; I disconnected from self. I learned that I had to be something or someone different in order to be "good" and accepted, or connected with someone else (I KNOW that is a false statement; my feelings, judgment, experience, or maybe just my perception, tell me otherwise); I hide, believing that I am less than, inadequate. At times I act confident when what I really feel is insecure and afraid. I don't want people to see how insecure and afraid I am. It takes so much energy to act the opposite of how I feel, but how do I exist in this world insecure and afraid? There's more I could say, but I'll move on for now.
There are moments when I am WITH myself; when "I am" present, happy, free, and self-connected. Very few see those moments, or come to know the true, happy, free, self-connected me. If I could exist in a world of my own creating, I would flourish, and all experience would be enhanced, because it comes from the light that is me, a light that is uniquely me, a light that is bright.
I share with you this "moment WITH myself" of presence, happiness, freedom, self-connection, and light, to bring this part of me from the shadow into the light. I like to dance...sometimes. Thank you for reading.